Dramatic But True

Awake. Alive. Renewed. When I think about the long weekend (Wednesday - Sunday) I spent in Washington DC at Peacemaker Ministries' forgiveness-themed annual conference, these are the words that come to my mind. I finally completed the certification process and was honored with a group on Friday night. As I walked on stage and heard our commissioning prayer, tears streamed down my cheeks and I felt alive.

Let me backtrack a bit. In 2004 I started working at Creative Mediation and discovered a passion for conflict resolution. In 2005 I began learning about biblical conciliation and went through several training sessions to develop skills in this area. I ended up meeting God in a new way and my understanding of the gospel and its implications expanded. God spoke to my mind and into the depths of my soul through 2 Corinthians 5 and I will never be the same. Serving the body of Christ by coming alongside those in conflict became a regular occurrence and I saw the gospel come to light in people, in relationships and within organizations. Literally, I discovered that a key element of my purpose on this planet was to serve in this way and my intention was to honor God with these gifts in all aspects of life. Practically, I started a Masters in Theology distance learning program and served frequently, cutting my work schedule down to part-time in order to make space for reconciliation.

Then I had Wyatt in March of 2008 and life changed. The "space" I had before was absorbed with a baby and all of the pressing concerns associated with one. Given the challenges of my health and the daily and nightly energy required to care for a little one, I barely survived the first 18 months. The things that were near and dear to me pre-Wyatt became distant and dried up. Or at least that's how it felt. I grieved the loss of life before Wyatt. When I think back to the things I've blogged about these past two and a half years, I can't help but notice the lack of reconciliation-themed posts. It was not a conscious choice to ignore my heart for reconciliation but it's clear that something changed in me during these years.

And, in a moment, I woke up. My gratitude to God who has reconciled me to himself flooded my consciousness and I tasted joy in who I believe he made me to be. I don't know what exactly this means in terms of my day to day existence but I do know that God is alive and well as the God of reconciliation and I desire again to be part of his work.