Let me tell you a little secret. I love watching movies in the theater by myself. I started doing this the year following college because I worked at an ad agency right near two fantastic theaters and it was easy to stop in for a movie on my way walking to the El (or the "L", it seems to be quite the debate) after a long day. I like the ease of seeing something on a whim and the quietness of being by myself in a big, dark theatre.
The first time I went by myself I was a little self conscious. I was worried that someone might think I was a loser with no friends. I now realize the absurdity of caring what strangers think of me. There are far less opportunities these days to go to the movies by myself but I found myself with a little extra time and the need to escape reality on Friday. Knight and Day hit the spot. Tom Cruise was surprisingly enjoyable in his role and Cameron Diaz's beautiful but overly animated face did not entirely ruin it.
Last night we rented Crazy Heart and I'm still thinking about it. The acting and filmmaking were spectacular and I was deeply drawn into the story of Bad Blake, the washed up, substance abusing country star with a penchant for absentee parenting and rich song writing. It felt like a combination of The Wrestler and Walk the Line, borrowing the best elements of each. Jeff Bridges gave the best performance I've seen in quite some time.
My favorite moment came when he returned to the home of his love after going through a residential treatment program for alcohol. Their last contact was when he lost her four year old son at a mall while getting a quick drink at a bar. This bottoming out experience led him to rehab and he was soon knocking on her door asking to be forgiven and back together. She immediately gave him a resounding no and the camera closed in on his face after she closed the front door with finality. In this moment, one wondered if he made all of the changes in his life for himself or for her in hopes of winning her back. The look on his face perfectly captured the despair of knowing that in spite of his new lease on life she would never be with him again. What will it be? McClure's Whiskey or continued sobriety without the love of his life?
I have this option in front of me sometimes even though I have the distinct benefit of having Garett by my side. Although whiskey is not my drug of choice, I recognize the real choice between a path that leads to life and a path that doesn't when life is not as I wish it was. I can choose to bury my head in the sand, distract myself or pretend that it's not that bad or I can choose to know God more and honestly pour out my disappointment to him, trusting that he is enough. One option leads to numbness, the other to a soft heart that feels deeply.
1 comment:
Amy, I love reading about your heart. (Although, I wish I had read this AFTER watching the movie. Read your blog on Sunday afternoon and watched this movie Sunday night--should have been the other way around!) Thank you for sharing, and I hope we can get together soon!
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