100L = S^2

After being a mom for several weeks, I'm pretty sure I've stumbled upon a mathematical equation related to being a parent of a newborn. Let me explain.

If I had a nickel for every time a friend or family member has kindly encouraged me to "Appreciate every moment with him," or "Soak in each day because they grow so quickly," or, even, "You'll look back and this will be your favorite time with your little one," my bank account would be brimming. These are such common refrains given with such sincerity and with what seems to be honesty based on one's own experience. It's been difficult for me to understand and relate to these exhortations given my sheer exhaustion. I've wondered if there might be something wrong with me. Am I going to start enjoying this? Will I look back on this time fondly, even as my "favorite"? Will I ever be able to form an intelligent sentence in a meaningful conversation?

Then I most serendipitously happened upon an idea that rings true to my parenting experience thus far. 100L = S^2. I'm no mathematician (sorry, Mr. Reeser) but here are the variables defined:

L = Love (in my case, my capacity and ability to love Wyatt)

S = Hours of Continuous Sleep

If S = 3 (as it did for the first several weeks at home with Wyatt), then L = 900. Now, before I alert anyone involved with the Child Welfare Services team in our County, an L of 900 is still quite sufficient to adequately care for a little one. L = 300 allows for regular and ample breastfeeding, at least 15 diaper changes per day, cuddling on the couch, rocking in the glider during all hours of the day and napping as much as desired.

If S = 5 (as it did for the first time on April 18), then L = 2500. You see, L grows exponentially as S increases. I woke up on April 18th to tears of joy once I looked at the clock and saw that S = 5. I felt like a brand new woman ready to take on the world of parenting. When L = 2500, all of the above are true, plus one starts to enjoy all of it a bit more. Sentences become easier to form, calls are more pleasant to return and getting out of the house becomes enjoyable rather than a big, huge hassle.

Last night, S = 6.5, so L = 4225 (yes, I can square a non-even number). I can't say I know what this means yet but I am grateful and looking forward to finding out.

All math aside, it's remarkable how much my heart has expanded over these past seven weeks and I look forward to its continued expansion. The more I get to know the little guy, the more I love him. I'll let you know if I discover any loopholes in my equation.