We celebrated 10 years at the end of May and it is hard to imagine that it has been a decade since we got married on that giant metal platform built with love by Garett. I remember the night fondly but more than that, I think of the journey that God has taken us on since. These pictures are from a beautiful weekend at a cozy one room cabin in Big Sur.
We are back in our home and thankful to be settling in. Wyatt and I are just finishing up our first four weeks of summer vacation and are heading back to school tomorrow for six weeks. I think we are both feeling ready although summer has been nice too. We've spent many days swimming at the Elk's Lodge with friends and got to spend last week in the Santa Cruz mountains with a friend and her two boys. We were both in heaven other than missing Garett.
Our big news is that Wyatt is now wearing glasses during all waking moments of the day. A few months back he began telling us about "seeing two things" so we followed up his normal pediatrician visit with a trip to the eye doctor. Thankfully we discovered his significant farsightedness that was creating a crossing problem and now we are hoping that eye glasses correct it. He chose these hip black Ray Bans that get comments everywhere he goes. He was decidedly selective about which glasses he liked and every single other pair made him say, "I look just like an old lady!" when he tried them on. This was especially awkward in a room full of old ladies. So he chose the black ones, as well as the same pair in bright red because he thought he looked like a rock star. I am pretty sure this is related to my brother, Josh, who just wrapped up filling in as guitarist for the band Barcelona.
It has been and probably will continue to be a learning process on a variety of levels. Wyatt has been very clear since our first appointment that he does not want to wear glasses. When the doctor told us that glasses were the first step, I cheered and Wyatt cried. He did not know that the alternative first step was surgery. He literally cried for an hour, wailing about the stupid, poopit (his made up word that is not quite "poop") eye doctor. When he finally calmed down and I was able to ask him why he didn't want to wear glasses, he said, "Mommy, I don't want to be different." I stopped in my tracks. I could not believe that this feeling was so present for my little four year old boy. What an opportunity to discuss how our differences make us who we are and that God is the creative one that delights in our uniqueness. And my boy needed to know that he was not alone in his desire to not be different. We are talking more about that little voice in our heads and hearts that tells us that different is less good than alike. Oh, that lie that we so easily buy into. I buy into it all the time, most recently in my inner struggle being okay with the kind of mom I am. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit because I see my role as a mom as a part (a small part, if I am completely honest) of who I am made to be. Saying that aloud doesn't always feel okay but it is only the part of me that thinks there is some official way of being a mom.
God seems to be taking Wyatt and I through a similar season - learning to thank God for who we are - all of who we are - and spending less energy comparing ourselves to someone or something else.
Yesterday Wyatt and I stopped at 7-11 to pick up some water. We grabbed our water and got in line behind a large group of dressed up college age boys buying gobs of beer. As Wyatt held my hand, I saw him studying these boys, watching their every move. I tried to talk with Wyatt to drown out their salty language but we couldn't avoid hearing the disrespectful way they spoke to the cashier.
As I buckled Wyatt into his car seat, I asked him what he noticed about the boys in 7-11. He said, "Mommy, they were not talking kind to the worker, and I saw one kick another in the booty. That wasn't nice."
I blinked back tears as I buckled my own seatbelt, thinking about my sweet four year old son becoming twenty. I wonder who he will be and pray that his life is a reflection of the love of Jesus.